Okay...how do I start?!?!?! just type... This is my diary into the many changes that are prayerfully going to happen within 2008. I was going to start this blog ages ago, well December 30, 2007, which is the day that I decided to give up sex, but time and life has gotten away. But no point in crying over spilt milk. Here we are April 23rd...3 months and 23 days into my abstinence and I am doing okay. But I do feel a bit like a social pariah. In the last 3 months and 23 days I have heard every excuse as to how dumb it is to be abstinent from males and females. I am so glad I am not easily persuaded or I would've given into the peer pressure. GEESH can we all not be so addicted to 'Acts of Sexual Kindness' with random potential carriers of GonasyphaherpaAIDS!!! I will not go back and divulge the trials that I endured....okay maybe not so much as trials but minor irritations and aggrevations that brought me to this point. But I will however write about the brain wrinkle removing yawn invoking goings on in my life from here on out. I exit today with this piece:
Hey baby,
say baby,
no baby,
wait baby,
why baby,
BYE baby,
see we discussed the deal about the seal between my legs before I knew your whole name,
but you thought your words, smooth tongue and your promises were going to make me fall victim to your played out game.
See this right here is not about you, its about me,
waiting and wanting something real that obviously you are too impatient to be.
You're so use to those legs that are automatically opening for you, Joe, Jim and Tyrone,
that you are about to make me leave you the hell alone.
You are free to go if you dont comprehend,
that I dont need a boy with a hard dick but a man that understands.
You gently whisper, I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind
Not understanding that you will not only fuck my body,
But your sex could also fuck with my mind.
I am a woman who enjoys that level of initmacy with a man,
I have been there, done that, and got a t-shirt.
I refuse to keep repeating the same mistakes and going through the same hurt.
So can you please stop asking me, "Are you a lesbian?" and making childish references to the needs of your man man,
If you need some that bad, use your right or left hand.
Or better yet go out there in the world of GonasyphaherpaAIDS
and play catch me if you can.
See this right is about me abstaining from the desires I want,
So that God can supply my needs.
I want to be available for the man who wants that real intimacy,
that unfortunately for you does not include you making this monkey climb your tree.
Baby what you fail to understand is that no one can do this woman like God can.
And if He wants me to renew my virginity
until He fulfills in me the things that He wants me to be,
Then no man, especially you, can make or break me.
I want that intimacy from the man who's dick was created for this,
not some boy who assumes he's a man because his dick gets hard and he can stand up and piss.
So yes baby as i said before,
wait baby,
No baby,
Bye baby, your silly ass is blocking a real man from coming in my door.
Be Light, Be Real, Be Blessed ~ AA
2 comments:
very good...I'm diggin it already...shame on "them" for trying to tell you abstinence is silly/stupid...I don't know who "they" are...but that is ridiculous...it's a conscious effort to do what's best for yourself...the road less travelled...not an easy one, hence the "less travelled" part...but a positive personal decision nonetheless...you go girl!
Because of you I am totally recommitting myself to God and the "purpose driven" life he has set up for me. Your words were so intense, so real....you reaffirmed what I knew in my heart. God has called all of us into greatness, we must decide not to settle for less.
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